


No More

by BettyHT



Series: Kate [3]
Category: Bonanza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 22:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16355714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BettyHT/pseuds/BettyHT
Summary: 3rd story in the Kate series.   One brother makes a mistake that could have tragic consequences.  It causes him to leave and try to find fulfillment and validation elsewhere.





	No More

No More

Chapter 1

Joe Cartwright walked into a saloon in Yarborough. The young man tipped back one whisky quickly and then the second whisky more slowly and felt each burn down his throat. He had traveled hundreds of miles and hadn't seen a soul for a week. Now he was in a saloon in a town he had never heard of drinking whisky and still the memories burned more than the whisky. He had a third. His stomach was rebelling so he thought he better get some food in there before he had any more to drink. He asked the bartender where could get some food and was told the only place was right there. He ordered up a steak and threw his green jacket over a chair and sat at a table to wait. He hated waiting. It only gave him time to think, and lately he didn't like thinking. All of his thoughts made him hate himself. He had hurt those he loved most and thought that by being gone he could hurt them no more. He remembered that night in town all too well. It was the night he got his brother killed. It had been nearly dark and they were just hours from home but they had decided to splurge on dinner and drinks in town.

"Joe, we gotta get going. Adam's already down by the livery getting our horses. We dropped the draft off at the lawyer's house and he'll get it to the bank tomorrow."

"Just another hand, Hoss. I'm riding a winning streak here."

"Dammit, Joe, Adam told ya not to get inta this game. Don't ya ever listen to good advice when ya get it?"

Only it hadn't been a winning streak. It had been a set-up. Adam had correctly sized up the players. They had let him win so that he would bet everything he had when he thought he had a great hand. Normally it would have been a great hand. Who wouldn't bet it all with a straight flush. But a royal flush took every cent he had and an IOU he should never have signed. He didn't have the money. The card shark demanded payment, and all he could do was go with Hoss and admit his losses to Adam hoping he would bail him out. Adam had been furious, but he had walked with Joe and Hoss back to the saloon.

"That's all we have. You set him up, and you know it. Take this and just be glad we're not going to be making an issue out of it. You know we know you were cheating, but maybe it will be a lesson learned for my little brother here."

Adam had tried to be reasonable and forceful at the same time. It had seemed to work. The cardshark took the money he offered and stayed seated. Hoss pushed Joe out the door and soon after Adam followed them. What they didn't know nor suspect was that as soon as they walked out of that place, the cardshark unobtrusively signaled his men to follow the brothers. They knew their orders were to 'make them pay' and Adam had paid the most. Shots had rung out as they crossed the street toward the livery stable and their horses. Adam had fallen face first in the dirt and hadn't moved as Hoss and Joe had run for cover. Looking back, they had seen no movement. Sheriff Coffee had arrived a few moments later. All three had rushed to Adam's side.

There had been blood, a lot of blood. Adam had been shot three times. Even in the darkness, the lights from the buildings had cast enough light for them to see the wet sheen on his back, leg, and side. Carefully, Hoss and Joe had started to lift him and suddenly had found more men there to help them. They had carried him face down to the doctor's office and placed him on the table there. As they walked, Hoss had had tears on his face. He hadn't been able to tell if his older brother was breathing or not.

Doctor Paul Martin had Joe and Hoss help him remove Adam's clothing that revealed the extent of the damage. There was a nasty wound over his left shoulder blade that looked like the bullet had impacted with bone. There was another high on his right hip that looked the same. Both of those wounds had been ragged and bleeding profusely. But it was the wound to his right side oozing dark blood that had the doctor's attention immediately. A new doctor in town had been summoned to help as were two ladies who often assisted in surgeries and patient care. Hoss and Joe had sat in the outer office and waited. Roy had sent a deputy to the Ponderosa to let Ben know what had happened.

Then Roy had gone over at the saloon to interview people there. There had been no witnesses to the shooting. They knew who had been responsible for it but there was no evidence. Roy had told them that much when he had arrived.

Ben had arrived soon after that, and Joe had cringed from the look he had received when Ben heard the whole story from Hoss. Hoss had looked at him a few times, but each time that Joe had noticed, Hoss had looked away. Joe had known then how they felt about what he had done. It only got worse when Paul walked out to talk to them hours later. Those words were seared in his mind and he would never forget them.

"He's lost too much blood. We've stopped the bleeding from his shoulder and his hip wounds, but we can't do anything about the wounds in his side. He's losing blood from his liver that was hit. All we can do with that one is wait. If those holes in his side were the only wounds he had and if we could tell if it was minor damage instead of major, I would say we could wait it out and give him a fighting chance. I'm sorry, Ben, but I can't see this turning out well."

"Paul, there has to be something you can do."

"Doctor Major and I agree that any surgery at this point would kill him outright. We can't do any more. He's young, strong, and healthy but there's only so much damage a body can take. You can sit with him. We'll be changing the dressing on his side frequently. We haven't closed the wounds that are actually rather small. The bullet went through. We'll let the blood drain out to stop any additional problems in his abdomen."

Ben had stood with Hoss' help and gone to see his son. Joe had gotten as far as the doorway to see his father nearly collapse at the pale form of Adam lying on the table dying for there was no other conclusion to draw from the doctor's comments. Adam lay where they had done the surgery for they had not wanted to move him for fear of doing any additional damage. The sheet under him had been stained with his blood. Hoss had kept his arm around his father until Paul had brought a stool for him to use. Joe had whirled and left. He had met Roy as he was leaving and told him the diagnosis only to see that same look on his face. Joe had killed his brother as surely as if he had shot him himself.

Within minutes, Joe had been back in the saloon. He had called out the cardshark, and the man had to meet him in the street or leave town. The cardshark had two associates and had thought to win the gun battle for that reason. But Joe had anticipated that after what had happened to Adam and had thrown himself to the ground when drawing, first shooting the cardshark and then the two in the alley who had planned to gun him down like they had his brother. As expected Roy had been there quickly. Witnesses had corroborated Joe's version of events. As Joe had mounted up to ride away, Roy had grabbed his arm but Joe had shaken him off and ridden out of town at a gallop. He had justice for Adam by punishing the shooters and the man who had sent them, but who would punish him? Joe couldn't stay here and cause his family any more pain. He left so his actions wouldn't do any more damage. He would be gone and never return. At least that was his plan as he acted in a manner that was as impulsive and emotional as he had ever been.

Chapter 2

Anticipating getting a job as a wrangler or horse breaker, Joe had been surprised that the only work available in the little town of Yarborough was freight hauling with oxen. He guessed he could do that for a time until he had enough money to move on or a horse job became available. The other teamsters were big men. They looked at Joe and those looks openly questioned his suitability for the job.

"Hey, pretty boy, your pappy know you done took on a man's job?" One of the teamsters decided to press the issue more. Joe ignored him as he continued to load his wagon. The man walked all around the wagon staring at Joe.

"Do you know the first thing about loading a wagon? Did you put the heavy stuff on the bottom? You know we don't go by size but by weight."

Joe had to answer. "It's all taken care of. Now if you don't mind, I need to finish loading and get the canvas tied down over these goods."

"Oh, and ain't the pretty boy all polite like a girl. Tonight maybe you wouldn't mind wearing a dress and cooking for us? Then maybe we could have some real fun."

"Look, I need this job. I can't fight you and keep it."

"You couldn't fight me, boy. Even with that little pea shooter on your hip, I'm ten times the man you'll ever be. Say what you doing here anyway with your fine clothes and that fancy saddle? You make your pappy mad?"

"I killed someone and had to leave. That's all you need to know."

The discussion was halted suddenly by the owner of the freight line. He knew he had hard men working for him but they were supposed to be working. "You men, I don't pay you to stand around jawing. Get your wagons ready and pull out in half an hour."

They were hauling heavy equipment, supplies, and food to a remote mining operation. The trail was through some rugged country and horses couldn't handle the footing and mules found the weight too much to pull up some of the steep grades. The oxen were slow but wouldn't tire as easily and could handle the trails they needed to use. As ordered, the wagons pulled out in about a half hour. Joe had no experience driving with a team of oxen but found it similar to horses or mules just at a slower pace. The animals themselves were rather docile.

The first night in camp was tense for Joe. The other teamsters still had no respect for him. He wasn't used to this kind of treatment and realized that he had been sheltered on the Ponderosa where no man could challenge him and keep his job. Thinking of home got him despondent again. He had begun to wonder if he had added to the sorrow in his family by leaving. They were undoubtedly suffering through the death of Adam. Then he remembered the looks he had gotten from Hoss and from his father as well as Paul Martin and Sheriff Coffee. Those looks had been damning looks. Looks that said he should have known better, he should have listened, and he shouldn't have written that IOU.

Smells of dinner cooking wafted through the camp. One of the men, Big John, had his wife, Melanie, with him. Whether the marriage was official or casual, no one really knew or cared. That happened a lot out in the west where such formal rituals often were not convenient or seen as necessary. She was the official cook and her husband received a small stipend in his pay for her. Joe was going to skip eating until she walked over and handed him a plate of stew. She had done the same for all of the other teamsters. As they ate, a more convivial atmosphere was present unlike the morning. Joe had done his job for the day and answered the initial questions the men had about his competence. There wasn't much in the way of conversation other than to talk about the weather. Up here, storms could make travel difficult if not impossible and the threat of rain had all of them edgy about the weather.

Awakened by the oxen bellowing and thunder rolling, Joe wrapped himself in his slicker and jammed his hat on his head before rolling out from under the wagon where he had slept. All of the other men were doing the same. Jasper who had challenged Joe the most the previous morning was issuing orders for everyone to get up and going. There was a stream they had to cross and the bridge was minimal at best. He wanted to get them there before the stream was flooded with run-off. They packed up, hitched up their teams, and headed out without breakfast. When they reached the stream, the bridge was torn from its mooring on one side and tilting sideways. It was unusable. The men climbed down from their wagons and stood in a group staring at the bridge.

The question that one asked as all thought it was whether they should turn back. Waiting for the floodwaters to recede and then trying to right the bridge was the other alternative. As Joe looked at the streambed, he remembered how Adam had once rigged a temporary bridge over a rain swollen creek. He suggested to the men that they could build such a temporary bridge if they just had a couple of logs to use as a base. One of the men brought a large crosscut saw from his wagon and Joe pointed out two trees they could use. Once the trees were cut and trimmed, they used the oxen to drag them to the stream.

Then using parts cannibalized from the broken bridge, they built a deck over the two logs using timbers from the bridge to brace it. The hard part came next. They need to get that section into the stream and anchor it against some boulders that showed well above the flood waters. One of the men rigged a block and tackle and after a few throws, the men had the rope around the largest of the boulders. They used the oxen to pull on the rope sliding their floating bridge into place. It worked and the men cheered. Then they used more planking and timbers and built a platform to reach from the shore to the floating section. Once that was secured, they built another similar piece and placed it on the other side connecting to the bank there. The bridge was rough but serviceable.

Jasper volunteered to take his team and wagon across first. The men watched holding their breath as the team plodded across the structure. It held. Then each man ran for his wagon and they lined up to cross. It had taken most of the day, but they were now on the other side of the worst obstacle they would have to face. Jasper walked over to Joe.

"You're a scrawny runt for a teamster. But ya done your job and then some yesterday and today. My name's Jasper." He stuck out his hand and Joe shook it. It felt good too to be accepted and treated with respect by men who had no knowledge of who he was.

"My name's Joe."

"Hey, how'd you learn to build a bridge like that? I ain't never even heard of such a thing?"

Joe was suddenly back in town reliving the night his brother died. "My older brother was real good at stuff like that. He learned engineering and architecture in college."

"Well where is he now?"

"He's dead. He got shot in the back because I was stupid."

No one said much at that. There were a few who said they were sorry to hear that, and then they all got back to work. Many of the men had sad stories to tell of how they ended up working in Yarborough. They understood how a man might want to lose himself to get away from bad memories. He was one of them now.

That night after they ate, Joe rolled out his bedroll under the wagon as they usually did. He didn't get much sleep though. Visions of the night his brother died and the blood kept intruding whenever he closed his eyes. He saw too the faces of his father and Hoss condemning him for what he had done. And now that his temper had cooled and he had a chance to think about his actions, he felt even more guilt. He should have stayed and done everything he could to help his family. Instead even though he told himself he was leaving to spare his family any more harm, he knew that what he had really done was run away like a child caught out in bad behavior. He had not faced the consequences. Now he had even more reason to believe his family would not welcome him back. When the first light of dawn began to show the outlines of the camp, he had slept only a short time. He got up and helped Melanie prepare breakfast.

Chapter 3

Riding back to the Ponderosa from town, Hoss was lost in thought. Adam was still unconscious after four days. Only Doctor Martin said it wasn't really being unconscious because he would swallow spoonfuls of water and broth that Kate patiently gave him nearly every hour of the day. The bleeding from his side had stopped. Paul said it was a great sign but still they waited to see if Adam would live. Paul said that each day he was still with them was a stronger indication that he might survive. He had told them that he had not thought Adam would live through that first night.

Ben had barely left that room except to take care of necessities. He sat at Adam's side or slept in the rocking chair that was in the room. Each time Hoss entered that room, Ben looked at him with hope that he had found some sign of where Joe had gone. Each time Hoss had to shake his head no.

Hoss was running the Ponderosa was well as he could being there part-time. Candy had taken on a lot of the responsibilities. When he wasn't with his father and Adam, Hoss was sending messages to towns in every direction for some sign of his little brother. How Hoss wished he had talked to Joe that night when Adam was shot. Each time Hoss had looked at Joe and seen how forlorn he was and then thought of how Adam might be dying in the other room and how Joe would be destroyed by that, he couldn't talk. His throat would feel like a large stone was stuck in it and the tears would start flowing. Each time he had looked away so that his little brother wouldn't be shaken more seeing how scared Hoss was. But he knew now that he should have found a way to say something. He wondered if he ever would be able to talk with his little brother again. The thought of being the last of the brothers on the Ponderosa was terrifying and he didn't like to think about it.

In town, Ben continued to sit at his son's side. Despite every effort of Doctor Martin to move him, he would not leave until there was a sign that Adam was recovering or the end came. He would never leave his son alone, but he couldn't help thinking of his other son out there. Not knowing where Joe had gone and what he was doing was almost as terrible a strain as this sitting and waiting. He wished he had been strong enough that first night to give comfort to his youngest son but his heart had been pounding so hard in his chest, he had been afraid he might collapse. It took all the effort he had just to get to the room where Adam lay after Paul delivered his diagnosis, and when he did, he almost fainted. Without Hoss and Paul, he would have ended up on the floor. He told himself when Adam was well again, he and Hoss would search for Joe and bring him home. Then he dropped his head and prayed that would be so.

Kate walked in the room and saw Ben with his head bent and his lips moving in a nearly silent prayer. He did that a lot. She had gotten to know Adam and his family when she had helped Adam recover from a relatively minor injury. Her heart broke to see Ben suffer so, and when Hoss walked in with eyes glistening with tears, she had a difficult time not breaking into tears herself. She had found Adam intimidating when she first met him. He was so dark and brooding and at the same time smarter than anyone she had ever met. She had danced with him at the monthly dances on occasion and being that near him was nearly overwhelming to her. He had a presence that dominated just by him being there. So she had avoided him. Then when she came to work for Doctor Martin and had helped to care for Adam, she found that hard exterior hid a sensitive, kind, gentle man. He had taught her to play chess in just a morning by patient instruction. She could picture him now as a teacher and as a father and husband which before had seemed incongruous with her perception of the man. He was far more complex than she could have imagined, and she had hoped to peel away some of those layers and get to know him better. She worked each day now to see if she could make that come true.

"Excuse me, Mr. Cartwright, I need to spoon more broth."

Ben moved away from Adam's side allowing Kate to have the stool. He moved to the head of the bed and slid his arm under his son's right shoulder and gently lifted him enough so that Kate could spoon the fluid in. Usually Adam's mouth dropped open when he did that, but this time it didn't. So Kate softly pinched Adam's nose to get him to open his mouth as one would do with an infant reluctant to eat. Adam squeezed his eyes and groaned instead. Kate set the cup down.

"Mr. Cartwright, get Doctor Martin. He may be waking up." Ben lowered Adam to the bed and left to find Paul.

Then Kate touched Adam's cheek. "Open your eyes now, Adam. I know you can hear me. You've fought so hard, but there's one more battle to fight. You need to wake up. Your father is here. He wants to see you very badly. Open your eyes now. I know you can."

Paul and Ben rushed into the room. Paul started checking vital signs as Kate continued to talk to him. Then she motioned to Ben to do the same. He moved next to Adam.

"Son, please open your eyes. I know how tired you must be, but I have to see your eyes. I have to know you'll wake up and be all right. Please, son, open your eyes."

"Keep talking, both of you. His heart rate is up and so is his breathing rate. Keep talking until he lapses or wakes up."

It took nearly five minutes and both Kate and Ben thought they had failed when Adam opened one eye a little and then the other. He barely had them open. He tried to say something but all that it sounded like was another groan. Kate grabbed his right hand and squeezed it.

"If you can feel that, squeeze back." He did although it was little more that a tightening of his fingers. "Good, now one squeeze is yes, and two is no. All right?" He squeezed once. "Do you want the broth I have here?" Two squeezes. "Do you want some water?" One squeeze. Then he squeezed several times. "Cold water?" Adam closed his eyes and a small smile brightened their day.

"Now open your eyes again. It's too easy to fall asleep if your eyes are already closed. Just keep them open." Adam responded to Kate's instructions and opened his eyes again.

When Kate went to get the water, Ben took his son's hand, and got a long soft squeeze in response that caused him to smile for the first time in days. Paul asked Adam if he could see them clearly and Ben got two squeezes. Paul told him that was temporary and that the longer he was awake, the better he would probably see. With Ben's help, Paul got another pillow behind Adam propping him up and making it a bit easier for him to look at them. Kate brought a cup of ice water and handed it to Ben who began spooning it into Adam. They heard a noise in the outer office and Kate went to see whom it was. It was a patient who needed a few stitches, but as she cleaned up the man's wound, Hoss walked in the door. Kate jumped up and gave him a hug.

"Does that mean what I think it means?"

"Yes, Hoss, he's awake. Your Pa and Doctor Paul are with him now."

Hoss ran through the door and down the hall sliding to a stop inside the room. He saw his older brother squinting at him and then smiling a little smile. Hoss had to grin. He walked to his brother's side and put a hand on his right shoulder.

"Ya sure had me scared there, older brother. Don't you ever do that to me again. I don't reckon I ever wanna be the oldest one. There's a darn big heap of work to do when you ain't there."

Waiting for a response and not getting one, Hoss looked to his father and Paul for an answer.

"He's too weak yet. You can see he's still a bit yellow. That's jaundice. As his liver heals and begins to function more fully, that will fade. For now, he has a lot of healing to do. He will get stronger but this may be a very long recuperation." Adam heard that last part of what Paul said and bunched up his eyebrows in a frown that started Ben and Hoss laughing. Kate came in to get the doctor and wondered why they were laughing.

"You mighta thought this was the hard part, but wait until you have my brother as a patient when he wants to be up and around and you won't let him. He can be the most ornery, cantankerous, grouchiest patient you have ever seen."

That comment from Hoss got another frown and another round of laughter. Ben sobered a bit when Adam looked around trying to see if anyone else was there. Hoss noticed too.

"Ifn you're looking for Joe, he's actually out there working. Pa wanted to stay with ya so we had other things we had ta take care of."

Adam closed his eyes accepting that for now. All of them knew it would be difficult to explain that Joe had taken off and they had no idea where he was. For now, they wanted Adam to get stronger so they let that explanation wait. Hoss and Ben knew how angry he would be to find out they had not told him the truth, but right now they weren't sure he could handle the truth so they played it safe. They let him fall back asleep.

Chapter 4

Lying in bed for hours that night and no longer so sleepy, Adam had time to think. He remembered the horrible pain of that night when he was shot, and he remembered falling to the dirt street. Then he remembered very little until he heard voices. He had identified his father's voice, Hoss', Paul's, Roy's, and a woman he now knew was Kate. He could not remember hearing Joe's voice at all. He could remember some things that people had said. He had been unable to respond but often heard them talking. There were snippets of conversation he could remember and most of it was about him. Sometimes Paul talked about Ben resting, and Ben and Hoss talked about the ranch too. He tried to remember more but still could not remember anyone ever saying anything about Joe. He began to worry that Joe was dead and they were afraid to tell him.

There wasn't much Adam could do about his theory. He could hardly move. He didn't have much pain as long as he didn't try to move which wasn't much of a problem. His right hip was very heavily bandaged and his right leg was splinted so he could not move it. His left arm was bent at the elbow and strapped across his abdomen. There was a large bandage on his back and thick ones on his right side. He didn't know the details of the shooting yet but hoped to be strong enough to be able to ask questions the next day. He could hear Hoss snoring in the next room. He would have liked to call to him but didn't have the strength. He supposed he could groan and get attention, but his brother needed the sleep too.

Instead of doing anything to attract attention, Adam closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep, but an hour later, he was still awake when Kate came in to check on him. By then he had to go and was able to whisper enough for her to understand and to get someone to help him. She woke Hoss and then left the room. Hoss pulled up a large porcelain urinal and bed pan that the doctor had taken out of the cabinet for them to use when needed. Hoss looked at the splinted leg and bandaged hip and tried to figure out how he could place the large bed pan so that Adam could use it. He gave up and called out to Kate to ask her what to do. When she saw what Hoss was holding, she was surprised.

"That's not what we have been using. The doctor may have guessed that Adam would have more need than a urinal would provide." Kate went to the cabinet and took out a brass urinal which she handed to Hoss, and then she left the room again. Hoss turned to Adam only to see his eyes closed.

"Now I thought you had to go real bad. Instead you just went back to sleep."

Adam opened his eyes then and sighed. Hoss realized he was embarrassed but had no idea why. He thought about it for a while and then realized the import of what Kate had said. She must have been positioning the urinal while Adam was unconscious. The doctor had moved it once Adam had regained consciousness, and Adam had assumed that the doctor had been the one to place it there. Now he knew differently and it was embarrassing. Hoss placed the urinal after putting a towel down first as Kate had instructed in case there was any 'accident'. Then he removed it and emptied it into the chamber pot before rinsing it as instructed.

Hoss was now awake and available so Adam asked the question he had been burning to ask. It took some time for him to get all of the words out, but the look on Hoss' face scared him. He feared he had been correct. Instead Hoss shook his head and sat on the stool next to Adam's bed.

"Joe was real upset that he caused you to get shot." Adam frowned. He hadn't heard the story yet about how he got shot. "We couldn't prove it but we know it was that dadblamed cardshark's two friends who shot ya down. Joe was so upset that he called the man out. Well he come out but he had his two friends in the alley. They was gonna shoot Joe like they shot you." Adam frowned and started to breathe rapidly. "Now you just settle down. Joe shot all three of them. He dropped and shot and got em all. It was three on one, but he done it."

Adam frowned. If Joe wasn't hurt or dead, why hadn't he been there, and why hadn't anyone been talking about him. "Where?" Hoss had to tell him they didn't know because Joe had left town that night, and they had no idea where he had gone.

Adam looked at Hoss and said "North, south."

"Now how would you know that?"

"Horses." Hoss sat back and thought about it. Arizona with its ranches or Wyoming and Montana would be likely destinations for a man who loved horses like Joe. East didn't work at all and he would know how quickly they might find him if he went west. Hoss looked at Adam and grinned. "Sick as you are, you think things through a lot better'n the rest of us. Course you didn't sit here day after day wondering if your brother was gonna make it." Adam raised his hand from the bed and Hoss grasped it in his hands. The two sat that way for a time until Adam's eyelids began to droop and then closed. He had finally been able to fall asleep again. Hoss pulled the blanket up to cover Adam and then returned to his bed.

The next morning when Ben came to the office after spending a night at the hotel, he was dismayed to learn that Hoss had told Adam so much.

"Pa, he asked. He would have been more upset ifn I didn't tell him. He told me Joe went north or south." Then Hoss explained why that made sense. Ben looked at him and sighed deeply. There was simply too much territory to cover with no leads as to where his youngest had gone. With no resolution to the question of what they should do next, they went in to see Adam who was still sleeping. Quietly, Hoss recounted the tale of the urinal. Ben could see how that would embarrass Adam, but it was an amusing story too. The two men started to chuckle, but then heard a groan from the bed.

"What's wrong, Adam? Are you hurting?" Ben had rushed to Adam's side.

"Not funny!"

Ben had to smile. How just like Adam who was facing months of recuperation from life threatening injuries to worry about who placed the urinal when he was unconscious and near death. "Son, we'll be sure to help you with that from now on." The only response was a harrumph. Ben then discussed what he and Hoss had been talking about. Adam said just one word. "Pinkertons." It would take time but that agency would likely find him. Ben smiled at Hoss who nodded. The three of them made a good team. Ben looked down at his oldest son.

"We'll find him!" Hoss nodded at his father. As Adam recuperated, his father hired the Pinkerton Agency to start looking for Joe. They sent them all the information they had that they thought might help. Then they waited.

In Yarborough, Joe continued to work for the freight line and found he liked the work of a teamster. There was enough responsibility and decision making to make him feel like he was standing on his own. There was also a lot of time outdoors and hard work. But in the evenings, there was the companionship of a group of men who accepted him. He had more trouble when he was all alone and not busy. Then he would think of the family he had abandoned. He didn't think as much any more of Adam's death for he knew he couldn't change that. He grieved, but his thoughts returned again and again to Hoss and his Pa especially. He knew he had hurt them and thought often about how he could right that wrong. After a month on the job, he was sent out on a few solo trips, and after another month, the owner, Matthew Price, started asking him if he had any ideas for improvement.

"Joe, I've watched you. You're not some ordinary cowhand who's running away from a sad story. You have intelligence, wit, daring, and more animal smarts than anyone I've ever met. What I want to know is after these months you've spent here, do you have any ideas on how to improve this business?"

Joe felt pride in those words. He was a man here. No one called him 'little', well at least not any more. He thought about what the boss had said. "Mr. Price, I think if you bought some draft horses, you could start hauling freight between Nevada and Arizona. The stage line through here is unreliable and doesn't carry much."

"Why buy horses? Why can't the oxen do the job?"

"They could, but they're slow. You'd get more for the money using horses on the road. The oxen are great on those trails, but horses would be a better bet." Joe winced a little at the use of the word 'bet' and his employer noticed but said nothing.

"I've been thinking the same things. I wanted to see what you thought without letting on. Now I have a proposition for you. I want you to go out and get me some teams of horses. Then when you're back here with those, you can start setting up some hauling contracts between Nevada and Arizona. I want you to manage that part of the business and I'll pay you double what you're earning now. If we start turning a big profit, I could give you a share."

"You'd trust me to go out and buy the horses?"

"The way you work with animals, and with that wonderful horse you ride, yes, I trust you to do just that."

Smiling, Joe stuck out his hand and his boss shook it. They had a deal. For the next five weeks, Joe traveled to Arizona in search of big horses. He managed to get two good teams for freight hauling. Mr. Price wondered why he didn't venture north into Nevada, but began to think that was the place he had left originally. Price Freight Company set reasonable rates for hauling and soon the ranches and storeowners up and down the road from Yarborough were clamoring for their services. It was relatively easy for Joe to get contracts. The hardest part was fitting them all in the schedule with the two teams they had. Mr. Price suggested he go buy another team, and Joe took one more trip to Arizona.

Chapter 5

"If that man wants to complain, let him complain to the walls. I'm tired of his surly remarks when all I'm trying to do is help him." Kate was getting very frustrated working with Adam and had come stomping down the stairs to the great room where Ben and Hoss were discussing ranch business. It had been nearly a month before they had been able to move Adam home. Kate had been hired to help with his care for he had been unable to do much of anything for himself confined to his bed.

"Now, Kate, we've talked about this before. Adam is used to being active. Being forced to remain in his bed has strained what little patience he has with being hurt. Now that he feels better, he wants to get out of bed but Doc Martin won't let him. He's afraid that hip is not adequately healed yet." Ben had played peacemaker with Kate and Adam several times.

"Oh, I know that, but when I try to help him, nothing is right. There's something wrong with everything I do for him. He has gotten just so grouchy lately."

"Well that's not acceptable. I'll go up and talk with him. We still need you here and Adam is going to have to behave himself." Ben headed up the stairs. Hoss decided to follow along because he liked Kate a lot and knew she liked Adam. He didn't want his brother to ruin this before it had a chance to develop. When Ben and Hoss got to Adam's room, they heard him groaning softly and found him grimacing in pain. When he saw them, he tried to hide it but they had seen enough.

"Adam, what hurts so much?" Ben moved to his son's side.

"My back and my legs. They just ache and now I'm getting muscle spasms in my back."

Hoss moved to Adam and carefully rolled him up on his left side. He began to massage the muscles in his back and found several spots that made Adam groan. "Brother, you shoulda told somebody about this."

"I need to get out of this bed. Lying here day after day with no movement is just too much."

Kate had heard them talking and had come upstairs to see what the problem was. She heard Adam's statement, and Hoss showed her the tender spots on Adam's back.

"We need to get you doing some exercises. Hoss and I can do some massages too. Hot packs will help too. There's no reason for you to suffer like this. You should have told me."

Ben and Hoss knew and Kate was finding out that Adam had a difficult time admitting he had a problem and an even more difficult time asking for help.

"I'm sorry, Kate. I should have told you." Kate smiled at his apology. She knew already how difficult that was for him. When she smiled, Adam grinned at her. She couldn't stay angry with him when he smiled at her like that. Over the next several weeks, Adam was much more comfortable and began to be more like the man the others knew. His progress in his recuperation was better than expected.

In Flagstaff, progress was occurring too in the search for the missing brother. "That's him. That has to be him. Everything fits. You send a telegram to the home office, and we'll follow him. This time we need to find out where he goes." The Pinkerton agents split up for the time being. The first horse-buying trip had gotten their attention as they had almost no leads in investigating where Joe Cartwright had gone. When they found the young man who bought the eight horses fit the description they had, the home office had dispatched three agents to Arizona to follow up the lead. They had hit pay-dirt.

The telegram sat in Virginia City for almost two days. There was a lot of work on the Ponderosa that had to be done. Ben had taken a more active role, but they were still short handed compared to their usual operations. Adam was finally out of bed but unable to do any work. He couldn't ride yet and walked with a cane. He got tired easily. Ben had him doing the ledgers but that was about all he could manage. By the end of the third month, Paul said the hip fracture was healed enough for him to try standing, but by then, his muscles were so weak he needed help to move around. The first time he wanted to venture downstairs, he had made it as far as the top of the stairs.

"I can't do it. I think if I try, I'm going to tumble down these stairs."

Kate had anticipated that problem and had a chair waiting. She had helped him sit and then pulled another chair from Hoss' room and sat beside him. Once he felt rested enough, she helped him down the stairs. He had one arm around her shoulders and used the other on the railing. Again once he made it down the stairs, all he could do was to sit in a chair. Nevertheless, he had a big grin. He had finally escaped the prison that his room had become. It had always seemed to be a sanctuary until he couldn't leave it. At that point, Kate wasn't needed as much and moved back to town to work for Doctor Martin. However she did visit the Ponderosa frequently and everyone knew it. So when the telegraph operator saw her in a riding skirt, he asked if she would deliver the telegram to the Cartwrights and she agreed of course.

In Yarborough, the Price Freight Company was growing almost daily it seemed. They needed to set up some satellite offices if they wanted to continue to build. Mr. Price asked Joe for ideas and he suggested Carson City and Flagstaff. Matt Price liked the idea of Carson City. Now that he had a growing profitable business, moving to a larger community with more to offer was attractive. His wife was all in favor of the idea. Joe started to get nervous though. He didn't want to work out of Carson, at least not yet. As they planned and organized, he suggested Jasper for the Flagstaff office and Big John to handle the oxen hauling to the remote mines and farms near Yarborough.

"Where will you go, Joe?"

The idea struck like lightning, and Joe knew what he had to say. "Home. I'm going home." The idea had been building for weeks if not months. Joe had to make amends with his father and brother.

"When will you leave?" Matt had been expecting this at some point so he wasn't very surprised. Joe's next statement did surprise him.

"I'll help you set up the expansion. Once that's done, I'm heading home."

"You're sure you want to take the time to help me do that? There won't be that much in the way of benefit for you if you leave right after."

"Yes, my Pa always said the reward in a job was the feeling you got when it was finished and done well. I'll finish this job and that will be my reward."

"Joe, I can't thank you enough for what you've done. You pushed me out of my complacency and so many people have benefited from that. Thank you. You or your family ever need help, you can call on me."

The two men shook hands and got to work. Jasper and Big John were thrilled to find they were being promoted and given more pay. They would need to hire a few more teamsters and Matt had them get busy with that. Joe packed up to head to Carson City where he would scout out an office and a house for the Price family. Then he planned to ride to the Ponderosa.

On the Ponderosa, Kate arrived with the telegram. She handed it to Adam who saw that it was addressed to 'Ben or Hoss Cartwright' which surprised him. He had Kate place the telegram on the desk, and then she sat in a chair at the table by the stairs where the chessboard was set up. She and Adam had been playing regularly and had not finished their last match. It had been the first time that Kate had been able to prolong a game for two hours. She knew that she would lose this one because she had lost too many pieces already, but she wasn't beat yet. Adam was impressed with how quickly she had learned to play the game that well. When Ben and Hoss returned for lunch, Adam told them there was a telegram for them. Ben opened the telegram and then dropped into the desk chair. Hoss and Adam were concerned until he looked up with a huge smile.

"He's in Yarborough. Joe's in Yarborough!"

Hoss had to ask where that was and how they knew where he was. There wasn't much in the telegram to explain how they knew. Ben and Hoss started making plans to go see Joe and bring him home. Kate saw the sad look on Adam's face at being left out.

"You know you can't go. We'll get things ready here for his return." Adam responded to that by grasping Kate's proffered hand. Ben and Hoss realized at that point how hard it would be for Adam to wait at home.

"Son, why don't you start planning the homecoming party? The Fourth of July is coming up. We could have a big party here that day and celebrate Joe coming home." No one even wanted to voice the thought that Joe might not want to come home. Hoss was thinking to himself that one way or another Joe was coming home.

Chapter 6

After Ben and Hoss left for Yarborough, Adam threw himself into planning the party. He had to get others to run all the errands but Hop Sing and Kate apparently loved the idea too so were very happy to help. Hop Sing got some cousins together to organize a fireworks show. Kate worked with Hop Sing on the menu for the evening. Because Ben would not be there to make punch, Kate volunteered to do that. Candy thought the party was a great idea and went to town with the list of supplies Adam had created. Candy was also instructed to let Roy and Paul know that Joe might be coming home. Other invitations to the party only mentioned the Fourth of July celebration.

Two days after Ben and Hoss had left, another telegram arrived. Adam tore it open and was dismayed but also happy with the content. Joe had left Yarborough and was headed north presumably to Carson City. Adam asked Candy if he could get Roy to telegraph sheriffs in towns along the road to Yarborough to intercept his father and brother and send them to Carson City instead.

"I wonder if he was coming home." Kate was musing aloud as she worked with Adam on the party plans.

"I've been wondering the same thing. Yarborough is a long, hard ride away. Carson City is a day trip. He may have been working his way back." Adam turned and Kate was looking at him and their faces were very close. He wanted to reach out to hug and kiss her, but didn't want to take advantage of her being there to help him for the last three months. Quickly, he looked back at the lists they had been creating. He hadn't seen any signs from her that she was interested in being more than a friend to him. And after his three months of exile, he wondered if he wasn't just feeling lonely and projecting that feeling into love for Kate.

Disappointed, Kate turned back to the lists too. She had been hoping that Adam would show some romantic interest in her. She had grown to love him over the past three months but had seen no sign from him that he felt at all the same way. For a moment there, she thought perhaps he might even kiss her, but the moment passed and nothing happened. She sighed and got back to work.

Each day Adam worked on the party and then on the ledgers as Candy brought him bills of sale, bills, and other information. He was overdoing it. On the day before the party, Kate arrived in the early afternoon to help with the last preparations for the party: decorating. She knocked and entered the house seeing Adam finishing his lunch. He was still thin from his ordeal, but his appetite had returned, and he had better color now as well. As he stepped away from the table to greet her though, he stumbled and Kate rushed to help him so he wouldn't fall. She had her arms around him quickly steadying him and then looked up to see his face inches from hers. Impulsively, she placed a quick kiss on his lips and then began to move away but Adam's arms tightened around her and he leaned down to brush his lips across hers. She moved into his embrace and he kissed her. He leaned back then and looked at her trying to read her and found he had trouble with that as she hid her feelings as well as he did.

"You can do that again, if you like." Adam grinned and kissed her again, and she responded with enthusiasm.

"Much work to do, no time foolishment." Hop Sing had put coffee and dessert on a tray when he had heard Kate arrive. He set it on the table now and returned to the kitchen with a small grin. He had been waiting for the two of them to show each other how they felt. He didn't know what had made it happen, but whatever it was, it made him happy for the number one son.

Still in Adam's embrace, Kate took time to evaluate him. "You're too tired. Your eyes are drooping, and that stumble was an indication that you need rest. I think that I'll decorate and you go take a nap."

Adam had been using the downstairs guest room for naps during his recuperation. It was so much easier than tackling those stairs with his sore hip. He nodded at Kate and agreed to a nap. He had gotten used to taking her orders on his health for he found it didn't do him much good to argue with her on that. He kissed her softly before releasing her and moving into the bedroom. He and Kate talked after his nap and agreed to take things slowly as both of them returned to their normal lives. At the same time, both admitted caring very much for the other although the 'love' word was never used. Both wanted to be sure before making that commitment.

In Carson City, Joe was sure that he had made the right decision. The closer he had gotten to home, the better he had felt. He expected he would hear some things about his leaving and felt he deserved that. He would take it like a man and tell them he would not do anything like that again. Meanwhile, after getting a room, he made a tour of various offices that were for rent, and looked for a stable to use as well. Both of those were found quickly and he bargained a decent rate for rent for both including an option to buy. Then he set out with the list he got from Mrs. Price on what she was looking for in a house. Of all the houses for sale in Carson City, there wasn't one that had what she wanted with the price limit that Matt had given Joe. He created a list of houses that had the most of the things she wanted and noted the price for each. The Prices were going to have to determine which house they wanted. Then he went to the hotel and made reservations for the Price family for the day they planned to arrive and for a few days after that.

Spending the whole day on the tasks he had agreed to do for Matt, Joe was hungry. He had wanted to get everything done in a day if he could so he could ride home the next day. It was late and he was hungry for a steak. Unknown to him, Joe had been followed for the entire day. The Pinkerton Agency prided itself on its successes. This man was going to be kept under surveillance until his family arrived however long that took. It didn't take long. The man from the Sacramento office recognized Ben Cartwright as he saw him ride into town. Soon, Ben and Hoss were striding so fast they were almost running to the hotel where Joe had been enjoying dinner. As Joe exited the dining room, his family entered the hotel lobby. All three men froze in place like children playing the game of statues. Joe moved first as his father and Hoss stood almost not believing their eyes. Joe moved toward them and then Ben opened his arms hardly believing that he finally was seeing his youngest.

"Oh, Pa, I'm so sorry for what I did. I hope you can forgive me someday, but I just had to come home." Ben wrapped his arms around Joe as Joe buried his head in his father's broad chest.

"Home?" Ben was confused.

"Yes, Pa, I was coming home. I just had some business to take care of here, and I was gonna ride home. It's still my home, isn't it?" Joe was scared yet of how his father would react.

"Of course, it's your home. Adam's there waiting for you."

"Oh, Pa." Tears started to flow and Joe couldn't stop. The grieving he had done had done little to assuage his feelings of guilt and loss. Hoss put his arm around his little brother and that only made Joe cry more. Ben and Hoss were teary eyed but couldn't understand how distraught Joe was. Finally Joe was able to choke out a few words.

"Is Adam out by the lake, by my mother?"

"Why would he be out by the lake?" Hoss was as confused as Ben and they asked the question almost in tandem. Then suddenly both understood.

"Adam's didn't die, son. He had a hard time of it, but he's still with us."

"What? But the doctor said?"

"Joe, the doc was wrong. And if you think our older brother got cranky when he was in bed a week or two, you ain't seen nothing of how cantankerous he can get. He was in bed for almost three months because of that hip that was broken. It was like having a dadblamed bear in the house. Boy howdy, you are lucky you missed that part. He's getting better n better now though."

Joe looked from one to the other. He had trouble believing what they said, but every look of theirs supported what they said. They could never look that relaxed talking about Adam unless he really was alive.

"He's alive, he's really alive?"

Ben relinquished his hold on his youngest so that Hoss could grab him in a hug. Then Hoss suggested they could go to the saloon and have a drink.

"Pa, I haven't had a drink in six months. I haven't played poker either. I decided that for gambling it had to be no more. No more taking chances like that."

"Aw, Joe, it wasn't the poker that was the problem. It was trying to win big that got ya in trouble so much. Adam and I play poker on occasion. But we keep it a friendly game with bet limits and no IOUs or nothing like that. I almost never win, but I don't lose much either. Adam wins quite often but it's the same pretty much cause he don't ever win much money. It's the game and the friends that matter not the money. Heck we got better ways to make a bunch of money." Hoss wasn't prone to big speeches but felt he had to make a point here.

Joe nodded in agreement. He was beginning to understand. The three moved to a saloon after Ben and Hoss got rooms for the night. Joe told them all about his business dealings and how he had used Adam's idea to get himself accepted that first week with the teamsters. Hoss reached over to squeeze his arm to see if he really did get more muscle as he claimed and found it was true. Then Hoss and Ben told story after story about Adam's recuperation including the story about the urinal. That story soon had Joe giggling like he had always done and Ben and Hoss were soon laughing uproariously as well.

The next morning, Ben and his two youngest sons were up early. All three wanted to see Adam as soon as possible. With the holiday, they couldn't send a telegram so all they could do was start riding home as early as they could. Joe couldn't wait to see the brother he had thought was dead, and Ben and Hoss wanted to see the reunion. Hoss told Joe about the party and all that Adam had started planning it when they left. Ben had done it mostly to give his oldest son something to do so he wouldn't brood about not being able to ride and accompany his father and brother on such an important quest. Now however, they were all looking forward to having a great time. It would be fun to see many of their friends and celebrate Joe's return with them.

By the time they neared the Ponderosa, they saw a number of horses and carriages headed to their home. The party was obviously starting soon or had already started. They rode into the yard to find tables set with food and people bringing more. There were musicians setting up on the porch. There were red, white, and blue streamers everywhere it seemed. Hoss took the horses into the stable and asked a couple of the hands to put them up. There were a lot of greetings shouted as people realized Joe was back. Adam was standing on the porch leaning on his cane which Kate had insisted he use for it would be a long day. He had to put a hand on the porch support to steady himself when he saw his youngest brother. Joe walked up to Adam and reached out his hand. Adam grabbed it and pulled his brother close.

"Don't you ever do anything like that again, or I'll have to give you a good tanning. Never leave. Please?"

"Nothing stupid like that ever again. No more stupid stuff if I can help it. I promise. No more." Joe could barely keep from crying and he saw tears in Adam's eyes too, but he knew Adam would never show his feelings so openly with all of these people around. "We'll talk later. It's been fun talking with Hoss and Pa. They told me a lot of stories, mostly about you."

Adam rolled his eyes and looked at his father and brother who didn't look the least bit chagrined. "We'll have lots of time to talk now, brother, lots of time. Welcome home."

Chapter 7

Dropping an empty plate on the table, Joe thought he had had about all the barbecued beef that one could ever want. Hoss had handed him a plate stacked with beef and other food, and he had eaten it to please his brother. Hoss said he needed to put a little 'meat' on his bones. Full of good food and drink, Joe wandered around the party greeting people he hadn't seen in six months. It was more difficult when he got to Roy. His leave taking of Roy had been too abrupt. Joe needed to apologize.

"Roy, I'm so sorry about that last time I saw you. I should never have treated you that way."

"Now, Joe, I know how you was worried about your brother what with the Doc saying he wasn't gonna make it. I understand and accept your apology. Ain't enough good friends that I can afford to lose one. Glad ta have ya back."

"Thanks, Sheriff. It's darn good to be back." Joe continued to walk around the party. He greeted Paul Martin next who smiled immediately putting Joe at ease.

"Good to see you, Joe, and not in need of my services. That is a refreshing change. I'm at the Ponderosa and no one needs me."

"Paul, I want to thank you again for saving my brother. I thought he was dying when I left. I carried that burden for months. Then to find out he was still alive, well, you can imagine how I feel."

"It was amazing. He has outstanding recuperative powers or someone intervened up above. Maybe a little of both."

Nodding, Joe continued to make the rounds. His family had pulled out all the stops to give him a rousing welcome home party. They planned to celebrate the Fourth of July at the same time so there was a crew setting up fireworks. Ben stood on the porch of his home and watched his sons, all of his sons, home, happy, and healthy. He couldn't imagine anything else he would celebrate with as much enthusiasm as that. Joe came up to him and stood beside him.

"Joseph, I can't tell you how good it feels to have you stand by me. I feel better than I have in years."

"Pa, it's only been six months."

"Oh, I know that, but I feel rejuvenated. Thank you for coming home. We needed you, all of us needed you."

Sitting on the porch with guitar in hand, Adam was playing songs with the musicians. A number of ladies had come up to ask him to sign their dance cards but he had declined. As Joe and Ben stood watching, Adam looked over and smiled at them.

"He's really all right, isn't he?"

"Yes, still needs that cane often especially after riding or doing a lot of walking. Paul thinks he will fully recover but that hip gets a lot of work and it has slowed the healing. He won't be going on the drive this fall even though he has told me he could. You're going to have to be ramrod and help Hoss with the trail boss duties. Candy will go too so you'll have plenty of help. Now if you don't mind, there's a little filly I think would like to dance with me." Ben moved quickly to ask a lady to dance as his sons looked on and grinned.

Hoss walked up to Joe next. "Ya really did make Pa happy again. Even happier than he was before."

"Why would he be happier?"

"Well, Adam saw how devastated he was when you was gone and now he ain't talking about leaving no more. He and Pa have talked about a few trips he could make and that seems to make both of them happy. Pa said he might like to go along when Adam goes back east. He said they could take in the theatres and such together, and visit Adam's mother's grave together too."

"When are they planning to do this?"

"Not sure. Just happy to know the family is going to stay together. Now I got a little gal I'd like to dance with too. Find yourself a gal and dance." With that Hoss moved to ask his gal for a dance and soon was having a rollicking good time.

It was nearly nine o'clock and the fireworks were going to be shot off soon. People started moving away from the well lit yard toward the area where the fireworks would be. Men carried blankets to spread on the ground so everyone could sit and watch. Joe noticed Adam sitting on the porch long after the other musicians and most of their guests had departed for the fireworks.

"Aren't you going?"

"Yes, Joe, I was planning on it. Just wanted to walk there with one of my best friends."

Joe looked around and no longer saw anyone in the yard. Using his cane, Adam walked over to him.

"Would you mind giving an old friend some help? I'd rather not have to walk out in the pasture with this cane."

Joe grabbed Adam in a hug. Adam dropped the cane and hugged him back. Joe stood back a bit then and wiped tears from his eyes. Adam looked at him with that grin he had, and then wrapped an arm around Joe's shoulders. The fireworks began then as the two brothers walked to see the best fireworks show in Nevada that night.

Once they reached the pasture, the area was illuminated by the first fireworks. Joe saw where Hoss and his father were sitting and turned that way with Adam. Once they got to the blanket, Adam dropped to his left knee and then to his left arm before turning to sit. He looked up to see Joe staring at him.

"If you think that looked awkward, wait until you see me get up." Adam had spent three months mostly in bed with that broken hip. Now the bone was healed although there was still some tenderness, but the damaged muscles as well as the healthy ones were still regaining strength and elasticity making it difficult for him to move at times. What happened next, surprised Joe even more. Catherine dropped to her knees next to Adam and sat on the blanket behind him, and he laid back resting his head on her thigh. Both of them were looking up at the sky watching the fireworks explode. Ben and Hoss looked at each other and wondered how much had developed in the few days they had been gone.

"Hey, Kate, hope Hop Sing didn't have you working too hard in the kitchen." Hoss liked her and liked how well she and Adam got along now. He was hoping that they would decide they liked each other enough to make it permanent. He thought a sister would be nice, but Adam had been close before and it had never happened.

"Not at all. We talked and we could hear the music through the door that was open." Kate sat and absently ran her fingers through Adam's hair with her right hand as she leaned back on her left arm. "Welcome back, Joe. I know everyone in the family has missed you terribly. Now maybe they won't be so grumpy."


End file.
